22.04.2019

22.04.2019

How fitting. This title occurred to me in the shower. Admittedly, “The Morning After” sounds somehow better – it’s something similar to “The Day After Tomorrow” – but currently I’m still writing for a predominantly German audience (Note: That changed, obviously). Speaking of writing. This writing here, yes, exactly what is happening at this very moment, is what I am doing for the first time. Right after getting up (ok, fine, after taking a shower in the morning), but before almost everything else. After waking up, I read a very long (and worth reading!) article by Mandy Stadtmiller in which, among other things, she wrote about making so-called Morning Pages – uncensored, not subsequent, free thoughts that just pour out of me – basically exactly what I’m doing right now. She said that it would be best to do this in handwriting, but since my handwriting would also pass as a veritable tool of cryptography, it wasn’t exactly up for discussion for me. During the shower I also wondered whether I should publish these thoughts. Ideally on my new blog, which I have been postponing for months, although I already have all kinds of ideas for it in my head and some people might even be entertained by it. Irony of my life: Only a few days ago I finished a chapter about self-motivation, which contains more than twenty thousand words and which suggestions actually work according to experience – IF they are implemented at all. Anyway, this implementation is such a strange thing anyway. After reading Stadtmiller’s article and thinking about whether I should just try this morning writing, I immediately thought of a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t do it. It’s useless anyway. You will do that once and never again. But whoa, I could also play this pretty fun video game instead, which I bought a few days ago. Obviously, my mind is already quite used at sabotaging me. Why didn’t it work this time? I don’t know. Maybe I had some kind of awakening experience. I just went through a waking phase of about 30 hours and now I slept a good 7 hours. It’ s the middle of the night (or early morning), everything is quiet and somehow I thought to myself: Oh, why not? Just do it. That’s something I like to say in other situations. Simply confronting people with fait accompli. But not only those abstract “people”, but also quite practical and real myself. Just do. Not so much brooding over whether and why and at all, but just saying “Fuck it” and putting it into practice. Afterwards I can still say that this was a stupid idea. But hey, at least I tried. And yes, I know it all sounds like this terribly pathetic motivational rambling, but it doesn’t make the insight hidden in it any less true. Sometimes simple things are actually as true as they are effective. Writing. There was something else. I sometimes have difficulties motivating myself to write. Ha! Especially me! Oh, the irony. My own ambition to write absolutely great, super fantastic texts that everyone loves doesn’t necessarily help, because reality and all that. It is rather unlikely that everyone likes what I write. Meh. But at least I can get better by just writing more frequently and creating more. Trivial knowledge, I know. But with writing, or more broadly, with the human mind, it’s the same as with its body: without constant training, it atrophies, shrinks and reduces mass. Yes, it is indeed the case that neural connections in the brain become weaker if we do not continuously carry out the activity for which they are intended. Suppose someone were to claim that the lecture on bio-psychology had yielded nothing. Body and mind are two manifestations of the same entity. What a wonderful Instagram aphorism. Hello world, let yourself be enchanted by my incredibly profound statements about life, the universe and everything in general. Ugh. I don’t know why I’ve written this now, but since the point of this exercise is to write for yourself anyway and just give in to the inner flow, I don’t have to justify myself. Ugh. That’s what you get now. You? I probably have already made the decision internally whether I share these thoughts with the outside world. Obviously I seem to have an immense need to communicate – even at the risk that no one cares what I say about myself during these unstructured mind games. But hey, you miss every shot you don’t take! Damn. I’m really good at this phrasemongering. Maybe at some point I should release one of those fancy calendars with super smart sayings that people can read while shitting. Nice. Now I’ve even managed to bring some faecal humor with me. What a multi-talent I am. Sure that I want to share it with others? It is somehow a bit … embarrassing? Weird. Funny. Strange. Somehow. Well, people are very strange animals, with often even more strange thoughts. I am certainly no exception. But woah. This morning writing thing is somehow really entertaining. Should do it more often. Good idea.
Eil bi back! [insert Schwarzenegger’s voice here!]