Life, Uncertainty & Cynicism
I know. I am not writing as much as I should. And I feel guilty about it. Satisfied?Weird thing is, there is constantly so much shit going on inside my mind that I would have a lot to write about. But instead I dwell in different things. Work, video games, movies, exercise, eat, sleep, repeat. [...]
Reflections. On life, decisions, peace, everything. Sleep deprivation is like a venomous spike deep inside your flesh. It spills it’s poison through your veins, clouding every thought, every judgment, every decision you make. It intensifies negative emotions by a hundredfold. No wonder, everything turns to shit, whenever my body decides that it’s time to ignore [...]
Dealing with emotions is something I would like to avoid given the chance. Even the slightest feeling of real or more often imaginary rejection causes intense emotional pain. There is no antidote. It just happens. Sometimes I manage to control the duration but the severity usual remains the same. Every thought about the many whys [...]
I relish the pain. I embrace it. Be it by the blade of a knife or the physical exhaustion during another workout session. It numbs everything else. For a short, blissful while. No emotional despair. For a few minutes, at least. My heart aches. Literally. The emotional pain I feel translates into physical one. They [...]
People keep asking me, whether I am back. Yes. I guess, I am back. Ok, that was a blatant lie. Nobody is aking me that. But I felt the drive of writing more again for a couple of weeks now. I miss it. I really do. I enjoy these nightly ramblings. My mind can drift [...]
Egotheist 