13.05.2019
Somehow interesting what ten hours of sleep can do. I definitely feel fitter and mentally more stable than the last few days. I even finally managed to see the last two episodes of the current Game of Thrones season. They were somehow meh. The current season seems super hectic, the character development is boring and well, the fact that I let some time pass before watching the new episode already speaks volumes. But hey, in a few days the misery will be over and the season finale is coming. Let’s see what they came up with. Anyway. The much more interesting part today was an article about Cryonics anyway, the vitrification of people to revive them in some future. Exciting topic and definitely something that will also be considered by me. Today is the first time in a while that I’m writing this before I go to bed, which brings me a bit closer to the original title. I wasn’t very productive, but at least I’ve done a lot for my education, I’ll work out later, and tonight I’ll actually work on my book again and continue proofreading. All in all, actually not such a bad yield so far. Hm. Somehow I don’t have the words at this point to fill the remaining lines. Tomorrow I see Tom for the first time in probably over ten years or so. I went to school with him back then. He was one of the smartest people I ever met. I am very curious how he turned out. When you meet again after such a long time, it often seems strange. I think. After all, I don’t have a reference memory to orient myself on. I see most people who are part of my life at least once every one or two years. That’s actually not much, but it’s better than ten years or longer. The advantage in this situation is that I have no emotional connection with him, but only a weak memory of our school days together. Wouldn’t it be kind of ironic if this meeting tomorrow gave me some kind of opportunity to do some crazy shit that would throw my life off track again? But this time in a positive way? After all, you never know. Good, that sounds a lot like a reverie that could have been stolen from the very next bad movie, but on the other hand so many crazy things have happened to me in my life that I can’t completely rule it out. As so often I just have to wait and see the events that may come. I’m at a point in my life right now anyway where a little change can’t hurt. Whether it gets better remains to be seen, but the chances are not too bad. The less I do the same thing every day and thus remain trapped in a destructive routine, the more the probability shifts in my favor. The fact that I am now doing more to broaden my intellectual horizons is a good indicator that at least something is going on. Also, yesterday I managed to resist the temptation to drink alcohol, which, given my mental condition over the last few days and weeks, is quite a remarkable achievement. Therefore, the current goal is to maintain this direction and continue to work towards stabilizing this behavior and becoming the norm rather than its parasuicidal counterpart. Fun Fact: I was thinking about recharging my laptop earlier. I’ve just noticed that if I had actually connected the charger cable to the port provided for it, this project would have been much more likely to succeed than just placing the laptop next to it and forgetting what I originally wanted to do with it. Is this a first sign of age or just my normal disorientation towards everyday actions? If I remember correctly, I’ve always made such mistakes, so it’s nothing to worry about. After all. One point less to give me a headache.
Egotheist 