Poison

Poison

Reflections. On life, decisions, peace, everything. Sleep deprivation is like a venomous spike deep inside your flesh. It spills it’s poison through your veins, clouding every thought, every judgment, every decision you make. It intensifies negative emotions by a hundredfold. No wonder, everything turns to shit, whenever my body decides that it’s time to ignore [...]

New Day, New Me

New Day, New Me

Something happened which I wanted to avoid at all costs: I was told one cannot be so sure whether these thoughts actually occur unfiltered because they are read by others. More specifically, this is what Taira told me. Currently, she is the one with whom I regularly share these passages, and her assumption therefore is [...]

Not Alone

Not Alone

07.05.2019 Got my letter of referral to the hospital. Now all I have to do is send it off. The first, very important step seems to be done. But without an external incentive it would probably never have happened. One of the advantages of extreme dependency in terms of social relationships is that it is [...]

Taking Control

Taking Control

06.05.2019 It's likely to be a hospital trip after all. Maya has persuaded me with her persuasive power to take care of a stationary admission. Sure, I'm feeling relatively well right now, but she pointed out that this is not a decisive criterion, as this mood can also quickly turn upside down again. When she [...]

Light and Darkness

Light and Darkness

05.05.2019 The advantage of extreme mood swings is obvious: As fast as bad episodes occur, they can disappear. Today, especially in comparison to yesterday, was actually quite good. Although I didn't get anything productive up and running, I wanted to take some rest after the stress of the previous day. This may sound a little [...]