Life, Uncertainty & Cynicism
22. 09. 2019 Wow. Just wow. I was so incredibly anxious after sending her my thoughts from yesterday. I kept thinking, "Okay, that's it. Too much for her. Can't deal with this shit". But no. Quite the opposite. Her answer was everything I had hoped for. Super calm, trusting and appreciative. If it hadn't already [...]
21.09.2019 Almost to the day there are four months between the last entry and the present. Fuck. So much fucked up shit has happened in those four months. My not-so-sober head can only pay so much attention to it. Initially I wanted to continue exploring the story around Sangea, but currently too many other thoughts [...]
19.05.2019 Life moves in very strange circles sometimes. Well, not mine. It currently runs in a very monotonous, very unhealthy, destructive, but certainly not strange circle. If I were to string together all the days of the past weeks like a snake of dominoes, most of them would differ at most in a few small [...]
18.05.2019 For years I have been trying to answer a central question. Which is worse: extreme emotionality or a void? For years I have been searching for an answer, but so far I have not found it. Currently, however, I am tending more and more towards the latter. Pain is palpable. It is something real. [...]
17.05.2019 I did exactly... nothing for my book. At least I cleaned my room and bathroom. Yay. Awesome. Oh, yeah, playing hours of No Man's Sky. Apparently there was enough for that. Maya's pushing me really hard to get into therapy. Feels kind of semi-great. I think I'm slowly developing an idea of how Annabelle [...]
Egotheist 