Life, Uncertainty & Cynicism
I’m not the person the voices in my head keep telling me about.I don’t want to be that person.Not anymore.I’ve been that person.I’ve hurt people. I’ve abused people. I’ve destroyed lives.All I can do is fall down on my knees and beg for forgiveness.And every single time I think about it, I feel like a [...]
I lied to myself. For many years I used to believe that the state of the world doesn’t affect me. That I was able to sit back, watch and analyse what happened around me. Be the rational observer I so desperately imagined myself as. I was wrong. So, so wrong.Coincidentally, when I thought these things [...]
Here we are. Tired. Exhausted. Numb. I was on a run a few days ago. And I thought: “If I jump in front of this tram, all of this shit would finally be over”.Welcome to my world.I am so fucking tired. The smallest things demand so much energy. I prefer ordering food because going to [...]
I was eleven years old when I wanted to kill myself for the first time. Now, two decades later, I don’t feel that same burning despair in me anymore. But the fact that I even made it so far, was more a matter of lucky coincidences and the combined help of some wonderful people, rather [...]
Life is a cynical comedy. Not all the time but it tends to punch you in the gut when you least expect it. Here I was, thinking I made so much progress. Refined my thoughts over the past months and years. Created new mental frameworks I felt comfortable living with. On a solid trajectory towards [...]
Egotheist 