Life, Uncertainty & Cynicism
I’m not the person the voices in my head keep telling me about.I don’t want to be that person.Not anymore.I’ve been that person.I’ve hurt people. I’ve abused people. I’ve destroyed lives.All I can do is fall down on my knees and beg for forgiveness.And every single time I think about it, I feel like a [...]
Here we are. Tired. Exhausted. Numb. I was on a run a few days ago. And I thought: “If I jump in front of this tram, all of this shit would finally be over”.Welcome to my world.I am so fucking tired. The smallest things demand so much energy. I prefer ordering food because going to [...]
I relish the pain. I embrace it. Be it by the blade of a knife or the physical exhaustion during another workout session. It numbs everything else. For a short, blissful while. No emotional despair. For a few minutes, at least. My heart aches. Literally. The emotional pain I feel translates into physical one. They [...]
People keep asking me, whether I am back. Yes. I guess, I am back. Ok, that was a blatant lie. Nobody is aking me that. But I felt the drive of writing more again for a couple of weeks now. I miss it. I really do. I enjoy these nightly ramblings. My mind can drift [...]
17.05.2019 I did exactly... nothing for my book. At least I cleaned my room and bathroom. Yay. Awesome. Oh, yeah, playing hours of No Man's Sky. Apparently there was enough for that. Maya's pushing me really hard to get into therapy. Feels kind of semi-great. I think I'm slowly developing an idea of how Annabelle [...]
Egotheist 