Life, Uncertainty & Cynicism
I know. I am not writing as much as I should. And I feel guilty about it. Satisfied?Weird thing is, there is constantly so much shit going on inside my mind that I would have a lot to write about. But instead I dwell in different things. Work, video games, movies, exercise, eat, sleep, repeat. [...]
Dealing with emotions is something I would like to avoid given the chance. Even the slightest feeling of real or more often imaginary rejection causes intense emotional pain. There is no antidote. It just happens. Sometimes I manage to control the duration but the severity usual remains the same. Every thought about the many whys [...]
Status report. New Year. First words. Like freshly fallen snow. Soaked in blood. Dramatic climax. Ruined life, ruined love, ruined family. Everything turns to shit and I'm just standing there, apathetic. Letting it happen. I'm blogging again regularly. Mostly old stuff. I'm frustrated because the blog I’m writing with other authors has morphed into [...]
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Breath, you fuck! And calm the fuck down. Just had a discussion with Taira, during which I briefly had the impression that she would resent my objections. Anxiety here I come. I realized in this moment how much the time with Valerie scarred me emotionally even more. Sure, harmony [...]
17.05.2019 I did exactly... nothing for my book. At least I cleaned my room and bathroom. Yay. Awesome. Oh, yeah, playing hours of No Man's Sky. Apparently there was enough for that. Maya's pushing me really hard to get into therapy. Feels kind of semi-great. I think I'm slowly developing an idea of how Annabelle [...]
Egotheist 